YFriday, June 23, 2006
hafta go sentosa tmrrrr!!! for some toopid observation form thingy.
and worst i'll hafta do it at 5pm. the time wen i shud be out and having fun or lazing at home.BOLLOCKS.
ANYWAYS,there is always that one moment in ur life that u feel really low and alone and that it seems like the world's four walls are crashing down on u and as it crashes u see light and a glimpse of hope like u can still survive the crashes of these four walls. like u can still walk out of this mess alive whether u like it or not..and this light did not only give u hope but it enlightens u all at once makin u realise ur worth. that u should be alive and be livin this life..
bcuz "u're worth it". HAHA.
well yeah..if u ppl have been followin my entries im certain that my breaking down is nothing new and that there are worst moments in my life thats too bitter to even reflect upon. well.i had that mental breakdown again. cuz i've been feelin lonely and rejected by my loved ones.
he apparently shone tat lite wen i was at my lowest and just listened without judgement n up till now im happy for tat.
I cn never thank u enuff. and of course..HE is the famous JediKnight who apparently TAGGED on my blog.haha.
anyways..the JediKnight's goin to leave for KL tmr and since he's actively readin tis humble blog of mine..im gona do tis dedication.HAHA.
his 2nd fave band for y'all to view, appreciate and love em like he does.
Have fun Jedi Master! LOL.
[tip:stop the page to turn off my song and click on pause to let the whole vid load fully to avoid the hiccup which will OBVIOUSLY destroy the song]
ENJOY! =)
_callous_ was here with you at
YThursday, June 22, 2006
went out after soo long today wit my youngest and my one and only sisters..
went starbucks hopping and damned it was a BLAST. but hell..i went back to campus earlier and realised the amount of workload i have. bollocks.
Look at the pics and u'll be able to fathom y we had fun.HAHA.
Thats my sis' ugly slippers and my fave sneaks!! hehe..
and oh yeah..my ezlink dropped and it bcame an ART.
creative arent we not? (nahhhh...hahhah)
Candid pic of one and only and i while waiting for the bus
Demented and Acting adorable (wic is not at all tat hard) =p
we just wont stop...HAHA
LASTLYY..the finale! it is the TRUE candid pic..and this is how we really look like outside.
HAHA!friggin ugly...really.*bashing*
With so many good times like tis...i keep wondering.
Why do i let hurt and depression get in the way in tiny moments of sadness.
Like so wat if my frens abandoned me or if they are always wit theirs lovers or if im not "COOLLL ENUFF" for them to chillout with. Or even wen i choose to be alone..really why should i bother by straining my muscles by gettin hurt?
of course the pang of heartache and feelin of rejection resided conveniently on my chest and mind..bt i managed to brush it rite away..
cuz i KNOW that the ppl who will ultimately be by my side thru good and bad times are gona be family and they are the ones who are gona love me unconditionally.
SO y do some let such an artificial relationship hurt family? or abandon family for such an undeserving commitment.
in acceptance of one's whole in weakness and strength and family in happiness and sadness is true commitment to me.
so am i wrong to not want to be in love if he's not able to commit?
i take back the fact that i need no man in my life. i know marriage is a gift, a sacred union that i wud love to experience. and YES im tooo freakin young.
SO im not thinking abt it...and im not thinking abt commitment just yet til someone proves me wrong..and till then..im gona be happy tis way living this life like there's no tomorrow and makin the most of it.
all the MEN in the world can do whatever they want and i'll try to NOT giv a damn.HEH.
GoodNite!
and yeah im hopin for NEDERLANDS to win tis match.
woop! sleep well y'all!
_callous_ was here with you at
YFriday, June 16, 2006
Monogamy VS. Infidelity
Infidelity-Unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, especially a spouse.
i wonder why do most people actually get married just to end up falling for another. there are so many affairs everywhere..so many daunted women fretting over their husbands or just accepting it trying to keep all those hurt bottled inside them cuz they dun want a broken family.
why torture the person whose been loyal..unfailingly faithful..whose gone thru so much with you? why over someone whom u've just come to know?
some mite say that sometimes..
they just want a side dish..wat side dish?!
marriage is not a contract..but a bond thats not meant to be broken intentionally. u may think that im too young to understand tis..but after all the shite i've seen..trust me i have more than fathomed this bull. its useless and worst than suicide. may not be to you..but the other half who chose to spend the rest of their life with you. they may want to regret..but regretting wun change the situation.
so wat's with infedility? what's with the side dish wen u noe that at the end of the day..ur wife is all that u'll ever really love. is it really worth it?
can the gifts..the attention..the time spent with the other overcome the sacrifices..the bond and the family that u've built???
monogamy..?? i gez i wun bother even talkin abt it cuz its starting to mean shit to me.
it's official. i don't need a man in my life.
_callous_ was here with you at
YTuesday, June 13, 2006
been super busy..and i dun wana bother blogging why.
noww...its time to hit the all-time high cuz im lovin my school, my class my lecture theatre, my family, my frrreeedomm and best of all.....my LIFE.muahaha.free as a bird and whatever nots. projects are all catchin up on me..and im the freakin leader AGAIN for 3Sems in a row! bllooodddyyy bollocks.! but i will survive.i know i will.hehe.
ANYWAYS, people asked me why have i been quiet. weellll...lets just put it in a way such that i lost my MOST convenient means of communication AGAIN and i am currently usin prepaid till nex week.yepp~~
There's nothing new lately tho..
yes..im still single..no..im not lookin..yes..im still stressed wit school and yeahhh im still bloody broke.HAHA.
its just that i've been missin my chillout buddies..CUZ every end of the day aft sch i'll either meet my sis, walk around alone and grab coffee or head straight home..miss all the hangout sessions at starbucks and pool-ing sessions.argh.HEH.
BUT im lovin sentosa..altho i hate the journey there..hehe..i feel like im gaining more knowledge at TAS as compared to TP. duno y..mabe its the environment.
wells...its all good. every pros has its cons.haha. gona be deployed to Sentosa Leisure Group every friday wen sch re-opens starting from 0830-1600. ARGH. and i dun even noe wat are we gona do...with the eekkky uniform in which i dun wana bother describing.HAHA.just imagine..super high black pants with t-shirt TUCKED-in.
owelz.'nuff wit school..and there's nothg interesting abt my life either..just that i had to remove my hijab cuz of sch serving liquour and stuff so bad hair day almost everyday..HAHA.i had to go fer the messed up hair-do look wic seem to gain me lotsa compliment..HAHA.i gez it's cuz its new to em..lols.
check me outt...
tats wit my hair tied back. and yeahhh...i looked horrible so dun start taggin.HAHA.but check out the background..aint it GREEN? hehe..taken at Sentosa of course...
hm.alritey...
NITEZ y'all!
_callous_ was here with you at